Death takes the ADA
by GraeLeigh3
Summary: ADA Casey Novak is stabbed in the middle of the Courtroom...
1. Chapter 1

**Death takes the ADA**

_Author's notes_  
This fic was inspired by the song "Unforgivable Sinner" by Lene Marlin and wouldn't leave my mind.  
The title is inspired by episode "Death takes the mother" from tv show Hex.  
Category: kind of C/O.  
Spoiler: Outsider (8x12).  
Warning: character's death.  
Archive: ok on Passion and Perfection, others ask first please.  
Comments, reviews, welcomes, flames ignored and used as toilet paper :p

_Special thanks  
To my evil twin for reading this and making some great additions!_

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_New York Court Room  
Today_

- "Somebody call an ambulance! Now!", Olivia yelled to nobody in particular as she jumped over the witness bench and rushed to the young woman side.

But she wasn't fast enough as the redhead collapsed to the ground.

Out of the corner of her eyes, Olivia saw Fin tackle the guy who was trying to escape the Court Room, punching his face a couple times to keep him down. It took the help of all the members of the SVU squad to stop him.  
She couldn't believe one of their own of them tried to kill the young ADA.  
She couldn't believe this newcomer thought her friendly behaviour meant he earned rights to her.  
She couldn't believe this guy who Cragen thought might be a good addition to their squad, who had flirted with the young red-head a couple months ago even though he just met her, just stabbed her in a crowded Court Room!  
Why did he? She knew that Casey had turned his dinner's offer down just before entering the Court Room after lunch break, but why attacking her?

A few feet away, Judge Liz Donnelly was trying to reach the wounded woman as well but the bail rift was trying to bring her to safety.

- "Leave me alone!"  
- "Your honour you have to go back to your chamber. It's not safe"  
- "I don't care, she is a friend of mine!"  
- "Your honour, I have to insist"  
- "Don't you dare touching me!", she yelled, freeing herself from his grasp and reaching the young woman side.

Next to the young ADA, the knife, its blade full of blood, Casey's blood, was taunting Olivia. She kicked it to the corner of the room with a loud growl.

The second her eyes fell upon the injured woman, Olivia knew it was serious; there was just so much blood in such a short time.  
Falling onto her knees, ripping the redheads black suit jacket open, she sent buttons flying across the room, revealing two deep abdominal cuts, her white shirt already soaked with blood.

The detective didn't dare gathering the weakened woman in her arms, not wanting to cause any further injury.  
Shouldering off her coat, she draped it across the prone body, then rolled her jacket up and tucked it under the red-haired head.

- "I'm here Case. It's gonna be alright", she breathed.

Judge Donnelly appeared opposite Casey's body, grabbing her hand.

- "Casey", she whispered, unsure of what to say. Her friend was ghostly white, all colours gone from her delicate features.  
- "Liv? Hu... hurts", the young ADA breathed as teary green eyes opened to meet brown.  
- "I'm right here, hang on, help's on its way"  
- "Can't… an't…hurts t… too much"  
- "Yes you can. Just don't talk, save your strength. It's gonna be just fine, I promise"  
- "Liv…", her voice even huskier than ever.  
- "I'm here, shh just hang on, don't leave me sweetheart"  
- "Shhh", she breathed, her hand rising to silence her "Se…cret"  
- "Fuck secret", Olivia growled as she grabbed her hand and kissed it.  
- "Y…your… car… eer"  
- "Fuck that too. You're all that matters. I'm so sorry Casey"

Looking up, she met Judge Donnelly angry look.  
- "So you're the one?"  
- "Your honour…"  
- "Don't even try to explain yourself Detective! No wonder she refused to tell me who was hurting her!"  
- "I did not!"  
- "You forced her to keep your relationship a secret! Fucking her then fled in the middle of the night! Making her feel like she was some one night stand whore you were ashamed of! You hurt her! She deserves so much better!"  
- "Lizz … s'o…okay", Casey breathed between them.  
- "No, it is not okay Casey. She…"  
- "It's a private matter; none of your damn business!", Olivia interrupted, not needing the Judge to remind her how out of the line she'd been in handling her relationship with the younger ADA.  
- "It does when it concerns a close friend. She'd better come out of this alive. Or I swear…", Judge Donnelly threats were interrupted by the arrival of the paramedics.

Minutes later, they rose, shaking their heads.  
- "There is nothing we can do"  
- "Ok well get her to the hospital they can……", Olivia started, not understanding their sad faces.  
- "No, you don't understand, there is nothing we can do, there's nothing anyone can do, it's too late", they tried to explain.  
- "No!", Olivia yelled as she knelt back by Casey, gathering her in her arms.  
"S'okay baby, it's gonna be alright", she breathed, rocking the younger woman whose eyes were now fixed on her.  
- "You are still in my Court Room Counselor", added Liz Donnelly in a stern voice, caressing the younger woman's forehead.  
"I'm not letting you give up. You are going to fight Counselor, I swear you will"  
- "I'm… so…wy, it…..", she stopped as she started coughing blood.  
"Look … at her Liz, how… could I …. not love her?", she breathed in a voice becoming weaker, her eyes not leaving Liv's face.  
"She… was… wa… right", she added as her eyes closed and a thin trickle of blood escaped her lips.

----

_To be continued in part 2 ..._


	2. Chapter 2

**Death takes the ADA, part 2**  
Disclaimer and author's notes: see part 1

-----  
Casey Novak's apartment _  
2 months ago _

- "Won't you stay?", she queried, puzzled at the Detective's actions.  
- "No, I … I have to go", she replied in a low voice, not even turning around to face the younger woman.

Her back to her, she was picking up her clothes from the floor, following its trail from the bedroom to the front door. She got dressed and exited the apartment noiselessly.

In the bedroom, Casey heard the Detective getting dressed. Like she did every time. Strangely she hoped that would change, that she would stay with her once they were done.   
But she knew it was not likely to happen.

She always came to her when the job was a little too harsh, when it hit a little too close: another raped woman, another mutilated kid, another destroyed family.   
She would show at her doorstep in the middle of the night, face drenched with tears, hands clenching and unclenching furiously at her side, eyes not looking at her.

The first time, she had grabbed her hand in a death grip and without a word, closed the door behind her, kissed her roughly, hands roaming harshly all over her body, ripping her clothes from her, as she pushed them towards the bedroom.   
There was no feeling, no caring, just harsh need, and unconcealed pain.   
The pain she inflicted her both physically and emotionally, getting stronger every time.

But she couldn't put it to a stop. She didn't have the strength to deny the detective.   
The tough New York cop she has been in love with for the past year. The one she would do anything for. And she was doing just that.   
If those rough sex sessions were what she needed, she was willing to give them. Of course she could refuse but as sick as it sounded, she preferred being Olivia Benson's one night stand than imaging her with some nameless female. 

As soon as she heard the front door close, she let tears run down her pale cheeks. Hugging her knees to her bare chest, she let her hand rest for a moment on the empty space beside her, before she wept until the sun came up.   
Until she couldn't stand it anymore then she rode to the batting cages on her bike, always the first in the morning, and always the last at night.

-----  
_To be continued in part 3..._  
_Comments, reviews wecome!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Death takes the ADA, part 3  
**

_Author's notes  
_Thanks a lot to every single reader and every single reviewer. And I apologize for the delay in publishing the next part.  
And I promise I'll fix the layout once the story is finished :)_  
_

----

_Liz Donnelly's office  
2 weeks ago_

- "Casey, I know you and there is something you are not telling me", the judge tried for the millionth time this month.  
- "Liz, it's really nothing, don't worry", the young ADA replied although she knew she was a poor liar when it came to her ex boss. She hated lying to her, but she had no other choice.

What could she say?  
"One of NY finest Detective uses me as her personal whore? I love her so I let her come back night after night? I let her have what she wants; let her fuck me senseless until she leaves when she's satisfied?"

She could have chuckled at this when her ex boss' voice took her back to the present.

- "Counsellor, you have been way too distant for the last couple of months for it being nothing. And you definitively lack sleep. So I'm telling you again, as your friend", she said in a voice laced with sadness, her hand reaching over the desk to lay on her young friend's arm "if there is anything I can do, just tell me".  
- "Liz really, everything is fine. Just got noisy neighbours", she lied again, chastising herself for her poor imagination.  
- "If you say so", Liz went on, making it very clear she wasn't buying it. "Just remember you have friends you can talk to"  
- "I know Liz, and I appreciate your concern", she replied before focusing back on their initial topic: the Lake's case.

A couple hours later, when they were done going over the active cases, they walked back together to Casey's office.  
As she opened its door, she couldn't help but stare: there was a bouquet of white roses sitting on her desk. Which of course wasn't missed by her friend.  
Looking sideways at her, she noticed the growing smile.

- "Well, well, well, looks like you have something more than noisy neighbours to keep you up at night Casey", she teased her.  
- "The person I'm seen wouldn't send me those", she admitted in a low voice. The second the words left her lips, she bit on her lower lip, mad at herself for voicing it out loud.  
- "The person you are seen? Didn't know you were dating anyone", she beamed.  
- "Liz… I am not ok!? They are from my brother", she went on, clearly changing subject as she read the card attached to them. "He just want to thank me for showing the city to his older daughter last week. See, no big deal", she went on, hoping Liz wouldn't pick on her sad voice. How she wished they had been from Olivia. How she wished deep down those night stands would lead them somewhere.  
- "Ok, ok I'm sorry Casey, I'm being nosey", she teased her.  
- "Yes you are", she smiled back.  
- "But I want what's best for you Casey. You can't go home to an empty apartment for the rest of your life. The cases you are handling far too horrible for you not to have someone to talk to when you go home. Someone caring, someone listening.", she advised her in an almost motherly way.  
- "I doubt the 'person' I'm seeing could. It's just not the kind to stay all night long, or cook romantic dinner", she admitted in a sad voice.  
- "Then maybe this person isn't right for you Casey. Don't settle for less than what you deserve", she went on, unaware as how close her words hit her. If only she knew.

For a split second, Casey thought to tell her everything.But as she turned to her, fighting back tears, ready to tell her, she only met an empty space where who she considered her closest friend stood only a minute ago.

- "Guess that's what I deserve", she thought bitterly "empty spaces".

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One last chapter to go... :p


	4. Chapter 4

**Death takes the ADA - Final Chapter  
**

_Author's notes  
_Thank you so much to all readers and reviewers, it means really a lot.

----

_Prospect Point, Vancouver__  
A week later_

She was wearing sunglasses, more to hide her blood shot eyes than block the setting sun.  
Behind her, she felt a hand lay on her shoulder, squeezing softly, trying to comfort her. Turning around, she faced Captain Don Cragen who was looking at her with sorrow in his eyes.  
He was the only one who didn't lash out at her, who didn't insult her after the death.

Judge Elizabeth Donnelly surely being the most vehement one.  
She was grieving a close friend, an ADA she admired and at the same time coping with learning that the "mysterious date" Casey told her about was herself.  
She didn't hold it against her though, she could barely stand herself.  
She couldn't stand that her it was her behaviour that cost Casey her life.  
She would never forgive herself.  
She'd rather be dead than feel this excruciating pain.

Bowing her head, she attempted to smile but failed miserably.

-"You did nothing wrong Olivia, none of this is your fault", she heard him say.  
-"Yes it is, I killed her", she whispered, looking down at her shaking hands "I might as well have stabbed her myself"  
-"Olivia, please don't do this to yourself", he tried again although he knew it was useless.

The brown haired woman fought back her tears as she turned around.  
Closing her leather jacked a little tighter around her body, she walked down the footpath until she stood beside the woman who surely hated her the most in this world.

-"I know you won't believe me … but I loved her. I loved Casey, she meant the world to me", she breathed.  
-"How could you say that after the way you treated her?", Liz Donnelly growled, her eyes fixed on the horizon, her jaw set in a hard line.  
-"I couldn't let her too close"  
-"You sure as hell were when you invited yourself in her bed!", the grieving blond exclaimed.  
-"Look, I don't expect you to understand but I loved her. But she deserved so much better than what I had to offer! I thought showing her this face from me would push her away", the detective sobbed, fresh tears running down her already soaked cheeks.  
-"And what was that all about? Fucking her so she would realize how wrong you were for her? She loved you Detective, she loved you like I never saw her love anyone. All she wanted was for you to accept her", she said, her voice softening.  
-"And I will live with it for the rest of my life", the tired cop breathed sadly.  
-"Yes you will have to, and it's only fair", Liz breathed raggedly before walking a few feet away from the Detective. She couldn't stand being near her anymore.

Minutes later, they all stood facing the sea, all gathered a step behind Detective Benson: medical examiner Melinda Warner, the SVU squad, the TARU members, a couple judges, DA Branch, ADA Kibre and Gaffney, they were all here to pay their respect to the deceased woman.

Taking a step forward, Olivia opened the container and dipped it until the ashes got caught by the wind, spreading them over the sunny Vancouver Bay.

-"You would have loved it here Case", she breathed sadly.

She stood there a long time, long after they were gone before walking up to the road where Elliot waited for her in the car. When she got in, he laid a comforting hand on her knee.

-"I know it hurts Liv but it will get better", he whispered, trying to catch her eye.  
-"I don't want it to, I sent her there", she answered honestly, her eyes fixed on the road ahead of them.

As he drove off, a song came back to her mind, one that had been following around lately:

"_Kinda lose your sense of time, cause the days don't matter no more  
All the feelings that you hide, are gonna tear you up inside  
You hope she knows you've tried  
Follows you around all day and you wake up soaking wet.  
'Cause between this world and eternity there is a face you hope to see  
You know where you've sent her, you sure know where you are  
You're trying to ease off, but you know you won't get far  
And now she's up there, sings like an angel,  
But you can't hear those words  
And now she's up there, sings like an angel  
Unforgivable sinner  
You've been walking around in tears no answers are there to get  
You won't ever be the same, someone cries and you're to blame  
Struggling with a fight inside, sorrow you'll defeat  
The picture you'll see, it won't disappear, not unpleasant dreams or her voice you hear"_

And she knew he was right, times would ease her pain even if she didn't want to.  
But she'd still her beautiful face, her shining eyes, hear her laugh, wherever she went, hoping it was her, not some look alike.Hoping she didn't get the only woman she ever loved killed because she was too afraid to tell her about her feelings, too afraid to let her see her demons.

Those demons that had only seemed to rest when she was with the now dead ADA, the demons that were now free to eat her inside.

THE END


End file.
